The Healing Power of Connection: Why Relationships Matter in Mental Health

Feb 2

The Healing Power of Connection: Why Relationships Matter in Mental Health

Last week, I took a rare day off. I got the kids to school, finally used a massage gift card that had been sitting in a drawer since last year’s birthday, and did exactly what I often encourage my clients to do—slow down and practice real self-care.

But the most meaningful part of the day wasn’t the massage.

It was lunch with a friend who stood beside me during one of the darkest four-month stretches of my life nearly four years ago. She has since moved out of the area and happened to be back in town at the last minute. We were lucky to find each other. Ours is one of those rare, deeply rooted connections—where we have held each other through profound pain and celebrated real joy, too.

I share this because what I see every day in my therapy practice is this: people aren’t only struggling with anxiety, depression, or trauma. They are struggling with disconnection.

Even when they are surrounded by others.

Many of my clients are high-functioning, capable, and outwardly “doing fine,” yet internally feel unseen, unsupported, or emotionally alone. And that kind of loneliness takes a real toll on the nervous system. We are not wired to heal in isolation.

This is why connection—safe, attuned, and consistent—plays such a central role in mental health. Healing doesn’t happen solely through insight or coping skills. It happens when we experience being met, understood, and emotionally held—often for the first time.

This is also why the therapeutic relationship itself is so powerful. Therapy offers a space where you don’t have to perform, minimize, or manage your pain alone. Over time, that experience of connection can gently reshape how you relate to yourself and others, creating pathways for deeper healing beyond the therapy room.

I share this because most people who come to therapy aren’t just struggling with anxiety, depression, or trauma. They’re struggling with loneliness — even if they’re surrounded by other.

I see this every day in my practice.

High-functioning adults. Professionals. Parents. Caregivers. People who “hold it together” on the outside while quietly unraveling on the inside. They often tell me:

“I don’t want to burden anyone.”
“I should be able to handle this on my own.”
“I have people in my life, but I still feel alone.”

“I am afraid to tell them about x, y and z”

What’s often missing isn’t insight, intelligence, or effort.
It’s safe, attuned connection.

Connection Is Not a Luxury — It’s a Biological Need

Humans are wired for connection. This isn’t a metaphor; it’s neuroscience.

Our nervous systems are shaped through relationships. From the earliest moments of life, our sense of safety, regulation, and self-worth develops in response to how we are met by others. When connection is consistent and supportive, the nervous system learns, “I am safe.” When it’s absent, unpredictable, or harmful, the nervous system learns to stay on guard.

Over time, chronic disconnection can show up as:

Anxiety that won’t shut off
Depression that feels heavy and isolating
Emotional numbness or shutdown
Difficulty trusting others
Feeling unseen, misunderstood, or “too much”
Many clients blame themselves for these symptoms. In reality, these are adaptive responses to a lack of safety and support.

The Role of Friendship in Mental Health

Healthy friendships offer something powerful: co-regulation.

Being with someone who listens, validates, and stays present helps calm the nervous system. It reminds us we don’t have to carry everything alone. Even brief moments of genuine connection — a shared laugh, an honest conversation, a feeling of being understood — can shift our emotional state.

And yet, many adults struggle to maintain meaningful friendships, especially when they’re overwhelmed, burned out, or emotionally exhausted. Trauma, anxiety, and depression can make reaching out feel impossible. Shame convinces people they should be “over it” by now.

This creates a painful loop:

Disconnection increases symptoms → symptoms increase withdrawal → withdrawal deepens disconnection.

Breaking that loop often requires support.

Why the Therapeutic Relationship Matters

Therapy isn’t just about tools, coping skills, or insight — though those matter. At its core, therapy is a relationship.

A strong therapeutic relationship offers something many clients have never consistently experienced:
a space where they are fully seen, believed, and emotionally held without judgment or pressure to perform.

I write about this from both sides of the room. As a therapist, and as a human who has known what it feels like when familiar supports fall away and the nervous system is left searching for safety. It was there that the role of connection—quiet, steady, and relational—became unmistakably clear.

For clients with PTSD, anxiety, or long-standing depression, this kind of relational safety can be transformative. It allows healing to happen not just intellectually, but physiologically.

Connection Helps Us Relearn Safety

Many people come to therapy believing they need to be “fixed.” What they often need instead is to feel safe enough to be real.

When connection is present — with friends, partners, or a therapist — the nervous system can downshift out of survival mode. Over time, this can reduce symptoms like hypervigilance, emotional reactivity, chronic stress, and shutdown.

This is why relational healing is so important in trauma therapy, somatic therapy, anxiety therapy, and depression therapy. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in the presence of another regulated, compassionate human being.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you’ve been telling yourself you should be able to handle everything on your own, I want to gently challenge that belief.

Needing connection doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Struggling doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
Reaching out doesn’t make you a burden.

It makes you human.

Whether through trusted friendships or a therapeutic relationship, connection is one of the most powerful tools we have for healing. And sometimes, therapy is the place where people first learn what a healthy connection actually feels like — so they can begin to build it elsewhere in their lives.

About the Author: Jennifer Goggin, LPC, LMHC, SEP, is a licensed therapist in Palm Beach, Florida, offering anxiety therapy, depression therapy, and trauma treatment using Somatic experiencing, Somatic therapy, as well as many others. She provides in-person therapy locally and virtual therapy throughout Florida and Connecticut. Jennifer specializes in attachment wounds, family of origin, nervous system regulation and helping parents navigate their dysregulation challenges.

Follow her insights on Instagram (@gogginjen) and LinkedIn (see website for link) or learn more at www.jennifergogginLMHC.com.