Depression Isn’t Laziness — It’s Often a Nervous System Collapse

If you live with depression, chances are you’ve been told—directly or indirectly—that you should try harder.

Get out of bed.
Push yourself.
Be grateful.
Think positive.

And when none of that works, the shame creeps in.

Many of my clients come into therapy believing their depression means they are broken, weak, or failing at life. They often say things like:

• “I know what I should be doing — I just can’t do it.”
  
  

• “I have no motivation, and I don’t understand why.”
  
  

• “I feel numb, disconnected, or exhausted all the time.”
  
  

• “Everyone else seems to manage. Why can’t I?”
  
  

Here’s what I want you to know:

Depression is not laziness.
And it is not a lack of willpower. I think we got this all wrong!

Very often, depression is a nervous system collapse — a protective response to overwhelm, chronic stress, or unresolved trauma.

When the Nervous System Shuts Down

From a somatic and trauma-informed perspective, the nervous system has one primary job: to keep you alive.

When stress, trauma, loss, or emotional overwhelm exceed what your system can process, your body adapts. Sometimes that adaptation looks like anxiety or hypervigilance. Other times, it looks like the opposite:

• Low energy
  
  

• Withdrawal
  
  

• Hopelessness
  
  

• Difficulty concentrating
  
  

• Loss of pleasure
  
  

• A sense of heaviness or shutdown
  
  

This is often referred to as a freeze or collapse response.

Your system isn’t failing — it’s conserving energy because it believes that continuing to push would be dangerous or unsustainable.

In other words, depression can be the body’s way of saying:

“I can’t keep going like this.”

In fact, in tribal cultures, when people showed signs of these symptoms, they were allowed to slow down and were instead…drumroll…supported by the group!

Why “Just Pushing Through” Often Makes Depression Worse

Many people with depression are incredibly hard on themselves. They try to override their symptoms through discipline, logic, or self-criticism.

But when depression is rooted in nervous system collapse, pushing harder can actually deepen the shutdown.

Why?

Because the nervous system doesn’t respond to pressure — it responds to safety.

When your body feels chronically unsafe or overwhelmed, it doesn’t matter how much insight you have or how badly you want to feel better. Without restoring regulation and capacity, motivation simply doesn’t return.

This is why so many people say:

“I understand my depression, but that understanding hasn’t changed how I feel.”

Depression, Trauma, and the Body

Depression is often closely linked to trauma — not only “big T” trauma, but also:

• Chronic emotional stress
  
  

• Childhood neglect or inconsistency
  
  

• High expectations without support
  
  

• Long-term caregiving or people-pleasing
  
  

• Medical trauma or prolonged illness
  
  

• Living in survival mode for years
  
  

When your system has learned that rest isn’t safe, emotions aren’t welcome, or needs won’t be met, shutdown can become the body’s last line of defense.

This is not a conscious choice.
It is a biological adaptation.

How Somatic therapy Supports Depression Healing

Traditional talk therapy can be incredibly helpful — but for many people with depression, insight alone doesn’t restore energy, connection, or hope.

Somatic therapy works differently.

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?”
We ask, “What has your nervous system had to endure?”

In somatic therapy, we gently support:

• Nervous system regulation
  
  

• Increased capacity for emotion and sensation
  
  

• Reconnection with the body in safe, manageable ways
  
  

• Gradual return of vitality and engagement
  
  

• Reduced shame around symptoms
  
  

This work is not about forcing change.
It’s about creating the conditions where change becomes possible.

Healing Doesn’t Mean “Becoming a Different Person”

One of the biggest fears people with depression have is:

“What if this is just who I am now?”

Somatic trauma therapy doesn’t try to turn you into a more productive, upbeat, or high-functioning version of yourself.

Instead, it helps you reconnect with the parts of you that went offline in order to survive.

Healing often looks like:

• Feeling small moments of ease
  
  

• Noticing slight increases in energy
  
  

• Experiencing emotions without being overwhelmed
  
  

• Feeling less numb and less ashamed
  
  

• Trusting your body again
  
  

These changes may be subtle at first — but they are meaningful and lasting.

You Are Not Broken — Your System Is Tired

If depression has been part of your life, I want you to hear this clearly:

You are not lazy.
You are not failing.
And you are not beyond help.

Your nervous system may simply be exhausted from carrying too much for too long.

With the right support, it can learn that it no longer has to shut down to survive.

Trauma-Informed Depression Therapy in Palm Beach & Virtual Florida and Connecticut

I provide somatic, trauma-informed therapy for adults experiencing depression, anxiety, PTSD, and nervous system overwhelm.

My work integrates:

• Somatic Experiencing
  
  

• Nervous system–based trauma therapy
  
  

• Gentle, non-pathologizing approaches
  
  

• Deep respect for your pace and capacity
  
  

I offer:

• In-person therapy in Palm Beach, Florida
  
  

• Online therapy for clients throughout Florida and Connecticut
  
  

If you’re feeling stuck, numb, or disconnected — you don’t have to push through alone.